ADD indeed
My name is Chris, and I suffer from ADD.
Now, don't imagine me saying that in some solemn, morose mood as if I'm admitting to a serious affliction. I've joked about my having ADD for some time but only recently had it officially diagnosed.
As this post demonstrates, I'm not too secretive about it. It's not really shameful or debilitating. In fact, one classic trait of ADD is what's commonly referred to as "hyper focusing." It's a curious duality of a condition most think of as strictly the inability to pay attention.
In addition to being easily distracted, people with ADD conversely find themselves unable to be distracted if their attention's gotten particularly fixated on something. As with everything, it's a source of great strength and great weakness.
I credit my ability to hyper focus with some of my most creative writing and my ability to learn new technology quickly. I also fault my mind's tendency to hyper focus on the wrong things at the wrong time.
I got a job right out of college because I luckily hyper focused on learning HTML and Web design during my spring 1996 college semester. I took no classes; I just read a few on-line tutorials and viewed a lot of page sources. However, four years later I was unluckily hyper focusing on 3D game design right around the time I landed a new job programming ASP, SQL database-driven Web pages.
I did some amazing 3D work for my hobby in game design, but I progressed and performed only average at my paid job. Being average isn't anything to be ashamed of, but it is a huge source of frustration for me. Not to toot my own horn, but I'm pretty damn smart and an average performance is just not acceptable to me.
That's where ADD got bad for me. I didn't lose my job over it, but I was very frustrated and got several lectures from bosses who expected more. They were right to expect that and I continued to be frustrated at myself for not being able to simply "shape up."
Of course, that's the line you cross that turns a personality quirk into an actual mental illness that's negatively affecting your life. So, I got tested and diagnosed with ADD and they gave me drugs!
They really do help, and I can actually choose to concentrate and think about something. However, I still can be distracted by something new, shiny, blue and low to the ground with electrical issues. But, my prescribed narcotics keep my head clear enough that I know when to say when.
Interestingly enough, when I'm hyper focusing on Ghia repairs or upgrades and it gets busy at work I end up being very productive in both at the same time. I know that's just natural with anybody as when you're excited about something your energy level is higher so you'll be more productive. But, I think ADD makes it even more so with me.
Dad gave me a hard time on here about ADD being the reason I was suffering from post-fix depression. But, of course, he's prone to the same depression and most likely due to the same condition I inherited from him (and Mom). And, in classic ADD fashion, he's been curiously silent on the blog here for the past week. I wonder what he's hyper focusing on these days?
Now, don't imagine me saying that in some solemn, morose mood as if I'm admitting to a serious affliction. I've joked about my having ADD for some time but only recently had it officially diagnosed.
As this post demonstrates, I'm not too secretive about it. It's not really shameful or debilitating. In fact, one classic trait of ADD is what's commonly referred to as "hyper focusing." It's a curious duality of a condition most think of as strictly the inability to pay attention.
In addition to being easily distracted, people with ADD conversely find themselves unable to be distracted if their attention's gotten particularly fixated on something. As with everything, it's a source of great strength and great weakness.
I credit my ability to hyper focus with some of my most creative writing and my ability to learn new technology quickly. I also fault my mind's tendency to hyper focus on the wrong things at the wrong time.
I got a job right out of college because I luckily hyper focused on learning HTML and Web design during my spring 1996 college semester. I took no classes; I just read a few on-line tutorials and viewed a lot of page sources. However, four years later I was unluckily hyper focusing on 3D game design right around the time I landed a new job programming ASP, SQL database-driven Web pages.
I did some amazing 3D work for my hobby in game design, but I progressed and performed only average at my paid job. Being average isn't anything to be ashamed of, but it is a huge source of frustration for me. Not to toot my own horn, but I'm pretty damn smart and an average performance is just not acceptable to me.
That's where ADD got bad for me. I didn't lose my job over it, but I was very frustrated and got several lectures from bosses who expected more. They were right to expect that and I continued to be frustrated at myself for not being able to simply "shape up."
Of course, that's the line you cross that turns a personality quirk into an actual mental illness that's negatively affecting your life. So, I got tested and diagnosed with ADD and they gave me drugs!
They really do help, and I can actually choose to concentrate and think about something. However, I still can be distracted by something new, shiny, blue and low to the ground with electrical issues. But, my prescribed narcotics keep my head clear enough that I know when to say when.
Interestingly enough, when I'm hyper focusing on Ghia repairs or upgrades and it gets busy at work I end up being very productive in both at the same time. I know that's just natural with anybody as when you're excited about something your energy level is higher so you'll be more productive. But, I think ADD makes it even more so with me.
Dad gave me a hard time on here about ADD being the reason I was suffering from post-fix depression. But, of course, he's prone to the same depression and most likely due to the same condition I inherited from him (and Mom). And, in classic ADD fashion, he's been curiously silent on the blog here for the past week. I wonder what he's hyper focusing on these days?
posted by Chris Druckenmiller at 8:48 AM
2 Comments:
Well... you see your mother forced me to focus on work. She cut off my repair budget and refused to let me spend time on the Ghia! Anyway for the most part it is in good driving condition and I am just enjoying the drive to work, even in this cold weather. There's a little bit of draft inside, but not too bad. The heater does a reasonable job of keeping things form getting too cold. The only reason I won't take the Ghia to school now are wet conditions. Salt is now on the roads.
Actually I've been focusing more on work the past couple of weeks. I just moved into my new office here at school. Now I have a window. I've also gotten back into doing some research work which needed a focus. I too can decide my focus, but instead of drugs I have your mother.
Yeah, the snow's finally arrive up here, too. So, it's a lot easier to not focus on the Ghia when you can't take it out and drive it. I'm hoping this winter we finally get enough snow that I can hyperfocus on skiing and snowboarding. :)
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